Insatisfacción Crónica

“Amor y otras perversiones”

POR OLYMPIA VILLAGRÁN

 

Después de meses de arrepentimiento y angustia, entendí que no era el sexo lo que me causaba un vacío existencial insoportable y una insatisfacción insufrible, sino todas las ideas que tenía de él. El saber que mis relaciones casuales no eran más que un malogrado intento de dejar de estar sola, me provocó repulsión hacia mí misma. La idea de encontrar una conexión emocional y real mediante besos y placer, me confundió completamente y así es como caí dentro del inestable e infinito círculo de la insatisfacción crónica…

 

La incapacidad para sentirte pleno y realizado es lo que llamamos insatisfacción; esta emoción no es del todo negativa, pues se trata de un estímulo que te empuja a buscar soluciones, cambios y mejoras para alcanzar tus objetivos. Sin embargo, la insatisfacción insana –esa que no puedes controlar y que además persiste sin explicación alguna– es parte de un autosabotaje peligroso. Éste es resultado de la visión distorsionada que tienes de ti, de tu entorno y de tus metas. Es decir, el origen de la insatisfacción compulsiva se remonta a todas tus experiencias pasadas e idealizaciones equivocadas. Cuando no eres capaz de distinguir entre lo que te gustaría y podrías mejorar, de lo que es imposible y/o innecesario, esta sensación se convierte en un problema emocional conocido como insatisfacción crónica.

Evitarla o deshacerte de ella requiere de un proceso de introspección. Rosa del Valle, psicóloga y logotarapeuta mexicana, lo explica muy bien en una sola pregunta “¿Si no estoy vacío… de qué estoy lleno?”. Es primordial que aceptes si el hecho de existir no cobra mucho sentido para ti desde hace tiempo, si últimamente compras cosas que no necesitas porque crees que te harán sentir mejor, si la dieta que estás haciendo es tu mayor esperanza para recuperar algo que ni siquiera recuerdas o si la relación que iniciaste te ayuda a no pensar en tus verdaderos problemas. Una vez que admitas cada una de las situaciones por las que no te sientes pleno, debes encontrar todos los valores vivenciales que sí te proveerán de satisfacción.

 

Por ejemplo, tus habilidades y capacidades natas, tus relaciones con otros, tus metas futuras y memorias pasadas, son parte de lo que fácilmente olvidas al intentar conseguir más cada día o al compararte con todos a tu alrededor. Es por ello que para las últimas generaciones –millennials y “Zs”– es mucho más difícil encontrar la plenitud, pues viven a través de un constante bombardeo de aspiraciones que a cualquiera deprimirían.

Por último, debes aprender a diferenciar entre la insatisfacción real de la que resulta de una idealización exagerada. Todas las creencias que tienes sobre el amor, el sexo o tu propio futuro son inciertas y resultado de diversos constructos sociales tergiversados. La disforia postcoital es una de las mayores confusiones en cuanto a temas de insatisfacción sexual. Tras numerosas investigaciones, se concluyó que tanto hombres como mujeres sufren de una sensación de vacío, depresión, angustia y/o mal humor después de tener relaciones. Sorprendentemente, este malestar no tiene que ver con qué tan satisfactorio fue el encuentro sexual, ni con que tantos orgasmos tuviste, sino con la influencia de diversos procesos biológicos que algunos atraviesan después del coito, además del repertorio empírico que poseas.

Como te habrás dado cuenta, confundir la insatisfacción –de cualquier tipo– con otra problemática física, psicológica o espiritual es posible. Evitarla y combatirla es tarea de todos los días y, obviamente, fruto de tu estilo de vida; el cual debes basar en el enriquecimiento de los espacios y detalles realmente importantes para ti. Invierte, disfruta y asocia de manera consciente tus cinco sentidos con todo lo que estos perciban; enlista mental o físicamente todo lo que te causa satisfacción y por qué; procura momentos y personas que te hagan sentir afortunado; acepta y aprende de tus errores, aciertos y también de tus perversiones.

 

 

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    Hi there, just wanted to let you know that we had a great time at Marina de Bolnuevo in July of this year (http://www.marinadebolnuevo.co.uk/about-bolnuevo). We flew into Alicante and hired a car from the airport for the short drive to Bolnuevo. The beaches are clean, most of them awarded the Blue Flag. The cafes were great, with paella on the beach a delight and managed a day on the nudist beach there. Very liberating. We also visited the Big Guns, The Roman Mines and the Sand sculptures. Will be returning there again next year. Look forward to seeing you at Marina de Bolnuevo in the next few months. Thanks for reading Niall.

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